Back to the Grind

After 11 wonderful days in beautiful Oregon, I am back in Los Angeles. The break from the big city was much needed. I even got to sleep well past 7am (i.e.: 10am at the earliest), which was quite a treat!

I had the opportunity to visit family and friends in both Eugene and Portland, and heard the following question more times than I would have liked: "So, what's the plan now?" I understand that most people meant this question with the best of intentions; however, when I hear that question, it translates, most likely incorrectly, to, "Seriously, what are you really going to do with your life?"

Preferably, people would ask, "So, how are things in LA?" Because then I can respond with something like...

"Things are great! I love LA, even though it's pretty challenging. Definitely not something I could do for the rest of my life, but I'm happy for now."

And then they could ask, "So do you know what you want to do after LA?"

I'd smile, or laugh or roll my eyes sarcastically and say, "I don't necessarily have a plan, but I'm working on it. I'm taking a break from the job hunt for a few months so I can feel settled and focus on the work and community in LA. Eventually I'd really like to get into social work, and I think the experience I am getting in LA is really fitting for that goal."

The other person would nod, smile, and say, "It sounds like a struggle, but it also sounds like you're doing a great job. I'm glad you've found something you enjoy!"

See, isn't that a much better conversation? I think so.

I am blessed enough to have the support of my friends and family concerning my involvement with the Catholic Worker. I was almost reluctant to continue living here without that support system, but my visit back to Oregon has relieved me of that stress. My dad even said last night before I left, "Take as much time as you need in LA." It's difficult to describe the comfort that kind of statement brings; the feeling of knowing that despite the hippie decisions I make, I can count on my family to support me as long as I am doing what I feel I am called to do.

Every once in a while, and by that I mean approximately everyday, I take a step back from what I am doing and just realize what a rich part of my life I am living. Now, I can defer loans, be unemployed, live in voluntary poverty, speak my mind with confidence and still ask questions without embarrassment. I am young enough to be considered young, but old enough that my opinions suddenly mean something (maybe not a lot, but at least something). And while living in Los Angeles, I am taking full advantage of all of the opportunities. Am I going to be able to do this when I'm 30? 40? Probably not. By then I'm sure I will have fulfilled some sort of plan I had mustered up years before; and as much as I anticipate my life will still be driven by causes of social justice, I will not be able to act on them as I am doing now.

So I will grudgingly take work shifts the community signed me up for this week; but I do constantly remember that this is a unique experience in my life, and knowing that keeps me working. The life of a Catholic Worker in Training is tasking, but it's the life I'm choosing.